We ask the question that such a family is, many with difficulty find the answer. The relationship of two people is a story that is written with their lives. What is a family and how to build relationships between spouses, find out from the article.
What is family: psychology
Every day, the day said, the act - all this makes relationships, collecting an impregnable castle from small bricks or a stone wall. In psychology, the family is called a group of people, summarizing the concept and depriving any individuality.
From the point of view of psychology, the family is a group of interacting people, united by marital relations, related relations. Families are characterized by the structure, but the main task of the family is always unchanged - it is to ensure the conditions for the harmonious development of individual members of the group.
Simply put, the family is people living under one roof with a common life, budget, household, family values and priorities. Group members are husband and wife, their children.
The following factors affect the well-being in the family:
- Education and intelligence of family members;
- Cultural level of spouses;
- The state of relationships.
There is no single criterion, what should be a happy family. In the case of financial problems, the spouses begin to blame each other in problems. The lack of education leads to the fact that none of the family members are able to correct household difficulties. If you encountered similar problems, we do not recommend worrying difficulties yourself. Contact your psychologist for help.
Cultural level helps people to occupy a worthy social status. The lack of mutual understanding and mutual respect leads to the fact that the mutual coexistence of spouses becomes impossible.
The causes of unhappy marriages can be the following:
- Negative example of parents.
Psychologists argue that the inability to live in the family is laid from the small years. Children take everything from parents.
The denying fact that the child repeats the mistakes or fate of parents in adulthood, a person knows that these mistakes were. Accordingly, refuses to change its life and attitude towards it for the better.
- Irresponsible going to family and marriage issues.
The second cause of unfortunate marriages is frivolity. It is about the fact that many confuse passion and attraction with relationships. Marriage and family are much greater than intimate intimate. This is responsible, the ability to wait, forgive, hear, understand, give up and so on.
Over time, the passion can fade, then the foundation of the relationship collapses and the links between the pair are destroyed. If children appeared in such a family, they will grow on the example of parents who have no points of contact. In such a situation, we return to the above voiced cause of unhappy marriages.
Love correctly call an inseparable psycho-emotional connection between a man and a woman. Those feelings that are chanting romance are the cruel distortion of reality. Before love is born, people entails each other only passion, interest and desire to get close at the physiological level.
The guarantee of family happiness is the ability to take and love your soul mate unconditionally.
Family functions were formed and developed in parallel with people as society objects. In psychology, there are several basic functions of the family, namely:
- Reproductive - the birth of children to continue the kind.
- Educational - the formation of the person's personality throughout his life.
- Household, or economic, is the ability to satisfy the material needs and teaching a child to appreciate the material benefits.
- Rereactive - providing conditions for the restoration of physical and intelligent forces.
- Emotional - the basis of human psychological health. This feature is expressed in the ability to show and accept support, respect, understanding, good attitude.
- Spiritual - the ability to develop on the spiritual level.
- Social - teaching a child to how to communicate with the outside world.
- Sexually erotic is an example of what the relationship between a man and a woman should be.
Family traditions, like family values, are the norms and rules, views, customs, who are transmitted from parents to children.
Family traditions should not disturb the moral foundations or contradict them. Family values should strengthen the bonds of kinship. Traditions are transmitted from generation to generation, raising the descendants and keep the memory of the ancestors.
The fulfillment of the functions assigned to them, the observance of traditions and the relationship between spouses is the key to family happiness and well-being. If you feel that your family life is not as much as you would like, do not get hot and do not hurry to break the relationship with the second half. First of all, we recommend applying professional advice to a psychologist.
See also: Psychology of men in relationships
Family relationships: how to build
Undoubtedly, the key to a happy marriage is family relationships that are not born at one point, and step by spouses step by step.
The lack of conflicts, mutual understanding in the family, comfortable life is a component of a successful marriage.
Relationships in the family can be built differently. There are certain types of relations between spouses, children and parents. For example:
The older generation daily suppresses the youngest, ignoring the interests of children. Emotional violence can turn into physical.
All family members are equal. The interests of each group participant are important. Problems are solved together. For parents, as well as for children, priority are the desires of loved ones.
The basis of this model is the absence of egoism and the ability to make compromises.
Children who have never granted the opportunity to solve their own problems, indifferent to the problems of others.
Excessive parental officers leads to the fact that their offspring is not able to communicate with other people, peers, colleagues. Such children are not able to build relationships and make their own family.
- Non-interference or passive indifference.
For such a type of relationship, complete non-interference of parents into the life of children is characterized. Parents fulfill the function of purely physiological education.
Family relations are born together with the family as soon as a man and a woman make a decision to live together, bring up children, have a common life.
The basic condition for success is the ability to avoid conflicts or solve them.
How the relationship will develop, depends on the source conditions in which a man and a woman fall. If the couple lives separately from the parents, it creates its own values, guided by the fact that they are laid in the process of education.
If there are several generations under one roof, it is important to know the values of each of them, respect them and adapt to conflict mutual coexistence.
The deposit of well-being in the family is:
- mutual respect between family members;
- Knowledge and understanding of the habits of loved ones and relatives;
- ability to communicate and put up;
- rejection of selfish motives when making decisions;
- The ability to forgive and understand.
To avoid conflicts at the stage of family birth, it is important to consider the following:
- Family of the spouse / spouse (parents) are waiting for respect from the chief of their child;
- Lies are ruined any relationship;
- Do not hurry with conclusions, it is important to understand the spouse, the motives and the causes of his actions;
- You can not condemn and discuss the parents of the chosen one;
- To receive help and support, it is important to give it.
A serious test for a relationship between spouses is always becoming the birth of a child.
For a young mother, another object of love appears. The established life is radically changing, as well as the need for financial support.
Women require men more attention, understanding and support than before. Men with the advent of children are often distinguished from their wives.
To avoid conflicts on the soil of motherhood and paternity, it is important to understand that the child is forever. Baby is responsibility. A small person is a natural continuation of the kind, then what a family was created.
Parents must grow him in love, show him what a real family is and what it should be. The relationship between spouses will be a model that the child will take the parents and uses in his relationship.
If with the advent of a small person, relationships with the partner become strained, do not arrange scandals and do not threaten to divorce. In this situation, it is better to go to a family psychologist who will help solve all the problems that have arisen.
In search of a response to the question of how to build relationships, it is important to consider that the family passes certain life stages, namely:
- The first year of the married life: Partners only learn to be halves one whole.
- Birth of a child: all life values are rethought.
- 3-5 years of married life: vital foundations change with the adulthies of the child. Husband and wife have to look for new forms of interaction.
- 8-15 years of married: the commonplace of the relationship makes it look for something new and look at family life in a new way. At this stage, the pair or strengthen the union, or part.
- 20 years of married life: the period when children create their own family, parents cease to perform most of the functions of child education on them. Due to the lack of goals and rethinking reality, the risk of change increases sharply.
- 30 years of married life and more: the relationship between spouses is transformed, reversed into absolute spiritual proximity. At this stage, the pair is building relationships with adult children who themselves experience the stages of family life.
Family is much more than a group of people with certain interests and common life. Family and family happiness - this is what every person is consciously or subconsciously seeks. That is why remember that family quarrels are no reason to chop with hot and stop relationships with the second half. We recommend trying to come to a compromise and consult with an experienced psychologist who will help solve family difficulties.
On the path of married couples there are a lot of tests. Not every family is able to easily transfer all the vital difficulties. Understanding and ability to forgive, confidence between partners, frankness and mutual respect - this is a little, which will help build a strong family relationship.
See also: How to establish relationships with her husband after a quarrel?
Attention! The material is only an introductory character. It should not be resorted to the methods of treatment described in it without prior consultation with the doctor.
Author: Candidate of Medical Science Anna Ivanovna Tikhomirova
Reviewer: Candidate of Medical Sciences, Professor Ivan Georgievich Maksakov
Original Articles: https://www.nur.kz/family/relationship/1745405-cto-takoe-sema-i-semejnoe-scaste/
What is the happiness of the family? What are the laws of happy families? How do their wife and husband behave in harmonious relationships? Why are quarrels and scandals need for spouses?
- What is family happiness
- The laws of building a happy family
- Secrets of family happiness
- Husband in a happy family
- Wife in a happy family
- The importance of money for a happy family
- Intimate life spouses
- Quarrels and conflicts
What is family happiness
Not all people think about what family happiness is. Partners make mistakes, quarrel, bred and create problems both for themselves and for loved ones. To avoid negativity in relationships, each person is recommended to familiarize themselves with how to properly build harmonious communication in the family, which advantages of this advantage and why it is necessary to constantly strive for the better.
Happy family members hurry home, love to spend time with each other, share experiences or success, discuss interesting topics, news. To achieve such a result, partners need to continue to work, take care and support each other.
There are quite a few pairs that could not build family happiness. It is not always due to the fact that partners do not fit each other. The problem is in the inability to talk, to share what I did not like. As a result, household quarrels lead to conflicts where people cannot find a compromise.
The laws of building a happy family
To build happiness in family life, partners must constantly develop, become better, learn to talk to each other, put up with some moments. In most cases, this is incredibly difficult, because each person believes that he is right in one situation or another. To achieve harmony in relations, it is recommended to familiarize yourself with the laws of family happiness:
Law of Compliance
When the couple comes into marriage, the partners must be not only confident in advance, but also fit each other. All people are different. This is manifested in different purposes, the attitude to the world, the desire to engage in a favorite thing, etc. The spouses should be interested with each other.
For this, they should have similar goals, the desire to seek them together and show support. Marriage should be what will combine partners. Then not only love and sympathy, but also mutual understanding, care and trust will be dominated between them.
Law of Love
When not only sympathy is formed between people, but love, then the partners are really interested in each other. They will bless their gods to build a happy family in the future. True love is the ability to give the maximum forces and means to be happy.
In relations should not be such that someone humiliates to others, betrays its principles and ambitions. People should not take care of such trifles. The couple is a cell of society, which allows them to overcome difficulties together.
Law of communication
If people cannot simply talk to those interesting themes for them, then relationships are experiencing a crisis. Lovers do not notice the clock, because they communicate, discuss discontent and achievements. As a result of dialogues, partners receive support, useful thoughts and opinion, which allows you to continue to develop, believe in our strength and develop your potential.
Law of Independence
Not just that most young families try to move away from parents as soon as possible and live separately. A joint life with relatives has advantages, but does not allow to fully invest in creating a new family.
The older generation will simply interfere, even their good desire to help young people. In any case, partners are recommended from parents. This applies not only to the territorial factor, but also emotional. A man still remembers the relationship of his parents as a result, as a result of which he designs them in adulthood.
However, young people are encouraged to take a maximum of positive moments with an example, avoid negative qualities and bring something new.
Partners should be for each other not only by spouses, but also friends, lovers. They need to go through life difficulties together, develop and try to become better every day.
If one partner develops in a career plan, visits trainings, the maximum activity is manifested, and the other is sitting at home and do not strive for anything - this will be a consequence of the destruction of relations. The first partner becomes uninteresting with the second, since he grows him.
Secrets of family happiness
Each family comes to happiness individually. However, it is achieved not due to high income and status in society. For the formation of harmony in relationships, simple, but very important rules need to be observed.
Their study makes it possible to understand what the happiness of the family.
- Each person in the family must have their own hobby. However, this does not mean that one partner is busy only by his life. He must also help another house, communicate with him and spend time together.
- Everyone from time to time is required to be alone, so the family members are important to understand this fact. Do not interfere with a person if he wants to think about his personal problems or just relax.
- Also between partners should be close communication. However, the topics for discussion refers not only to the fact that the head at work is bad, the girlfriend divorced her husband, and relatives were already tired of coming every weekend. Spouses are important to discuss family life. This includes things like material wealth, sex, joint goals, desires, discontent.
- A lot of marriages collapsed for the reason that the spouses could not speak. They silent about the flaws of each other, as a result of which there were quarrels, a crisis in relations and in the end of the divorce. To avoid such negative moments, it is recommended to express a person what may be unpleasant to offend him or call it. It is also required to learn to forgive a person for his inadequate behavior.
- Additionally, it is recommended to learn how to spend time together. This applies not only to the spouses themselves, but also children. Family dinners are perfect for establishing communication with a TV turned off. The atmosphere of calm will allow children to share daily experiences, parents will be able to give advice and support the child. The more family members know more about each other, the easier it is to build a harmonious relationship.
- Also do not forget about the shortcomings and desires of each other. Often this is manifested in domestic situations. For example, a man loves to lie down on the sofa after work, and his daughter does not give his mug to anyone. All family members are important to show respect for others and be able to put up with minor disadvantages.
Family happiness cannot be achieved once and forget about it forever. To maintain harmony in relationships, it is necessary to work daily and not to forget that it is impossible to relax.
Husband in a happy family
A man plays and should play an important role to create a happy family life. The spouse should love, help a spouse in domestic situations and take care of all family members.
The behavior of a husband in the family completely depends on his wife. If she constantly supports him, helps to cope with fear and motivates it to achieve their goals, he will definitely come to success.
A man should, create a favorable living living environment for her and children, to establish children and become weak, if a wife does not believe in him. The spouse is important to open good qualities in her husband. If she constantly reminds his shortcomings, they will begin to acquire more global sizes.
If the wife learn how to notice the advantages and strong character traits, they will increase to the colossal volumes. Each person is weak, but everyone also has strengths. They are required to disclose.
Happiness depends on all family members. However, not always a man can cope with household situations. Often this is explained by the work. The spouse can be asked to help in everyday life, but it is not recommended to force it to do what is required on the systematic level. There is a high probability that he will not be able to cope with permanent duties.
Young wives are not worth worrying if the spouse seems lazy and carefree in the early years of family life. He didn't just have decided on a responsible step, so he also wants to participate in the family development, like a woman. However, household problems are associated with the costs of inexperience and addictive to each other.
Wife in a happy family
Most women are trying to ensure that their man makes them immensely loved and guarded. To achieve this result, the spouse needs to understand what its role in the family. To do this, it is recommended to familiarize yourself with what God said before creating a woman: "It's not good to be one.
We will create an assistant assistant to him. "
- Men is important to constantly hear praise from his wife. This will motivate it to achieve even big results so that the spouse appreciates them. However, women are also encouraged to avoid discussions of female problems with her husband. Not all representatives of strong sex like to talk about pregnancy, menstruation, childbirth, etc. It is recommended to speak on such topics with girlfriends.
- Men are less emotional and otherwise relate to everyday life. It should be understood to women. For example, if the spouse wants her husband to show more tenderness and caress, she needs to say about it directly. It is not recommended to make hints, and then be angry with him, because he did not understand them.
- One of the responsibilities of his wife is also to assure her husband that he can trust her and tell about all the experiences. It is important for partners to understand that they appreciate each other, respect and are always ready to come to the rescue.
- Often, wives complain on her husbands that they rather after work want to sit with friends. This phenomenon is normal if the man does not receive respect and interesting pastime at home. Women important to understand that not always a delicious dinner and a clean apartment affects his perception as a good wife. Every man has their own values. For example, it will be important to receive support from my wife, and the other will depend on high-quality sex.
- It is important to open a man and show how sincerely loves him. Otherwise, a man will find the girl who will satisfy his needs.
- A woman can be how to raise a man and help him turn the mountains, so and bring his self-esteem to such an extent that he does not want to even return home. To achieve exclusively positive results, the spouse is recommended to abandon such habits as a constant grumbling to her husband. Similar behavior does not paint a woman.
A woman is important to support a man and his desire. If he wants to independently make decisions, no need to discourage him and try to take the role of the leader in the family. In the future, this will have a positive effect on all.
The importance of money for a happy family
Money is an important factor in the life of every person, but their number does not affect the happiness of the family. Not all rich families can be called happy. It is impossible to fully argue that all the poor live in harmony or without it. There is always a golden middle, which you need to stick.
If partners proceed to develop and support each other, they will not be difficult to come to financial independence. Often, a man is responsible for material wealth, but his desire and potential depend completely from the influence of his wife.
Partners must mutually complement each other. Only so they will be able to achieve harmony and happiness in the family.
Intimate life spouses
Sex depends entirely how partner relations will develop. If their sex life is experiencing a crisis, problems will also begin to communicate and mutual understanding.
To exclude negative moments, it is recommended to get acquainted with what problems people face.
- Problems in intimate life arise due to disharmony. The desire to have sex in men appear much earlier, however, it begins to fade earlier than in women. As a result, when the spouse reached a peak of sexual activity and satisfy the needs takes more often, the husband is no longer so interested in sex. This is the reason why partners cannot come to compromise. However, it is possible to solve the problem.
- To achieve harmony in sex life, it is important for partners to learn how to feel, try to delight each other and discuss all moments from sexual intercourse. Spouses must share what they do not like or do not like in sex. Then it remains only to take into account all the facts and use them to improve the quality of sexual life.
- So that young spouses can avoid problems, they need to learn to talk. Guys do not know women's psychology, so they are trying to think independently before it is properly satisfied by the partner. Often, all attempts become failed, self-esteem begins to fall and the consequence of this is the emergence of signs of potency. Women are trying not to take the initiative in their hands and transfer responsibility for men. As a result, both partners remain unsatisfied both physically and morally.
It is recommended to immediately express each other what I did not like, or, on the contrary, like it. This will avoid problems and build harmonious relationships.
Quarrels and conflicts
No happy family costs without quarrels and conflicts. Their presence confirms that partners are interested in each other, they have common topics for conversations and they are not bored together. However, spouses should not assume that disagreements lead to divorce. On the contrary, they are a way to solve problems, express discontent.
In all families where partners cannot quarrel, they also have no common topics for conversation, they feel lonely and unnecessary. They become no more than their neighbors.
Young spouses are advised easier to treat conflicts and try to find in every compromise. Do not think that the presence of the quarrel means dislike to each other. Yes, in the rustling of anger, people may be unpleasant to each other, but they need to learn to treat it as a temporary feeling. After some time, the anger will pass and everything will fall into place.
What is the happiness of the family? It has been written a lot of articles about what the happiness of the family. However, it is manifested in trifles and is achieved simply, if partners know the main ways and have a desire to become better.
Where does such a miracle come from, how is family happiness? What kind of family we call happy? On the day of family, love and loyalty, with the editors of the Portal "Orthodoxy and the World" are divided by their reflections of the priests Dimitri Karpenko, Igor Pchelins, Elijah Shugaev and Gleb Grovyovsky .
Archpriest Dimitri Karpenko:
Prot. Dimitri Karpenko
Family happiness is when the husband and wife love each other and God gives them children who grow in this love and understanding. However, this does not mean that childless marriages are doomed to be unhappy, not at all. The main thing is that there is a real love, which is known, "never ceases" (1 Cor. 13: 8). I saw it happiness in many families, but the biggest happiness see him in my own home.
The recipe is still the same - love, but they will not recover her prescription. This is the secret of God, as it happens that two different people meet each other and understand that they were created in order to always be together. It is impossible to understand this mystery to the end, it can be honored before it and God will give, survive.
Archpriest Igor Pchelins:
Prot. Dimitri Karpenko
Any gift for his development and assimilation implies serious work - the work of the soul. So there is no doubt and bliss, and happiness as the joy of staying in love and the world there is from God. But in order to learn these ladies to give, it is necessary to change themselves as in general to assimilate the grace. That is, love, happiness and repentance go hand in hand and have (well, for us at least) meaning in life in God. Without it, there may be joy, and happiness - but relative and transient. "Jaco Color Slice Taco will flash ..."
If you want to live in peace and happiness, then you need to get rid of self, pride, unwillingness to delve into the needs and sadness of another person. It is necessary to learn love - which is not a passion, but dedication, self-sacrifice, etc.
These are all the well-known and "banal" things. But not everyone is ready to go this way.
And just clean the heart - so that it is more open to God.
That is, just be a Christian is the key to family happiness. But it is precisely to be, not to be listed - because a formal Christian can cause a lot of evil.
I think that now at least before the wedding you need to spend a young thought,
What wins the one who is inferior. But this victory is not for the sake of the celebration and exaltation over the other, but again, for the sake of joint work on the cultivation of your family in grace.
Probably, this is the meaning of the family.
And in children. We also have more than 40% of families and do not want to have children - neither their nor receptions. These are not families in general, there are no completeness of being expected by God. Because parents must germinate in children and further into grandchildren.
I remember the situation with us, however, somewhat virtual: as we gathered - and we had my parents and sister with children, and grandmother, and grandchildren already - that is, from the great-grandmother to the great-grandmother. Unfortunately, we could not keep the integrity of such a multi-stage family - everyone lives apart. But the realization that we have at least a while going together so much generations, gives some kind of delight.
For family happiness, not only loyalty is necessary, but also humility. Probably, the humility of love in marriage assumes and humility before the fact that you suddenly love someone - and there is no passion next, the enemy is not asleep - but looking for someone to absorb. Humility with the fact that there is no longer anyone to experience the burning passion of the conjunction with the spouse, to take it in advance, consciously, as the fact of the universal value, and in advance to be ready for the evils of their own weaknesses and the enemy's mistress. Many go under the crown not warned - "We ourselves can cope if that." And as "what" came - there is no strength to resist, and they are ready to suddenly destroy everything that God created.
Archpriest Elijah Shugaev:
Prot. Elijah Shugaev
The most important qualities for a happy family life are masculinity in men and femininity in women.
I will try to explain what it is. Masculinity is manifested in the ability to make decisions and respond to their consequences. Of course, these mental qualities are inherent in a person not from birth, it takes a lot of time for their formation. And until they ripen, it is not worth the marriage. Personal responsibility is formed not earlier than 15-16 years. Readiness to respond not only for yourself, but also for the family, it also appears that later. Today, most young people later ripen to create a family (no earlier than 25 years, and then, provided that the child grew in the right environment, he led the right spiritual life).
Of course, it is impossible to blame the young men and girls in the fact that their mental qualities developed slowly. After all, the modern system of education does not contribute at all. For example, in kindergarten, children are boiled in the environment of their peers and by and large can not teach each other. And it happens that at home they do not have a worthy example for imitation.
A completely different situation when children spend a lot of time among adults - not only parents, but also grandparents, other teachers. In this case, the rasows are rather adopted by the lifestyle and the image of the thinking of adults, and rather gain psychological maturity.
It is very important that parents look at their chad as small adults trusted them important things. For boys, it is especially important to realize yourself by the owner in a house that a lot is able to rely on. There is a good example in the work of Nikolai Nekrasova - a peasant with a marigold, which felt responsible for the family already in his six years, because on a par of his father, the households took care of the father: "Family is big, yes, two people of all the men: My father yes I "
Unfortunately, we often have that the boy is growing in conditions that do not contribute to the development of responsibility. But this does not mean that, he matured, he will not be able to become a good husband and father. The main thing is the desire to raise the missing quality of the soul, to start leading the right spiritual life. The road is asset going. And the sprouts of the necessary qualities are in the soul of any person, every boy in adolescence wants to become strong, courageous. I see it when I speak with teenagers about life. It is simply not always a natural desire find a successful embodiment: for example, boys can exercise their strength with hooliganism.
Now a little about femininity. For his wife, first of all, the ability to inspire. Many men can not do something worthwhile only because there is no one to inspire them. For example, a wife should be said like this: "You, dear, golden hands, so do, please, it is." And what instead do some husbands hear? "Yeah, you still lay down on the sofa! Raise faster and go to work! In our house, everything is bad, because you do not do anything. "
Wife should look at her husband with admiration, as his hope and support, should believe in him. When a man feels like this, he is able to make a lot. And when it is reproached and saw, then the hands are descended.
Women's image is very decorated with modesty, chaste behavior, children's purity. To such a wife, the husband will be able to look with awe, like a flower that I want to protect and which is even scary to touch. A woman does not need to strive to be as desired (even for his own husband). It is better if she is able to cause a sense of tenderness, even the father's feeling so that her husband would like to defend her. To carry such children's purity is easier for those who did not know sin. It is always better to keep the soul from dirt than to wash off the dirt.
But it happens and purity that grows not from virginity, but consciously acquired during life. There are many examples of repentable sins, for example, Maria Egyptian, who lived in Bluda, but was able to come to holiness. Therefore, everyone has hope to regain the lost purity of the heart.
We often believe that our spouse is far from the ideal of masculinity or femininity. But you should not try to redo it, because this is the most ungrateful occupation. It's easier to change yourself. Wife - become more feminine, that is, tender and affectionate, stop independently accepting all the decisions. When a man sees that there is no one to make a decision besides him, he will begin to take them sooner or later. Husband should be tried to show masculinity, that is, be hope and support for your family. Then the wife will become softer and calm, because she does not have to worry once again and do extra movements. Even when only one of the spouses will take the right position in the family, the situation will begin to improve.
The human soul does not tolerate loneliness - neither in spiritual or psychological plan. While the soul will not find God, it will rush. In the same way, while a person does not realize his desire to be along with another person, he is worn, looking for something, but not always even knows how to correctly recognize the true desire.
The word "happiness" in Russian, and in other languages, this is etymologically means "con part", that is, complicity in the life of another. While you live in my shell, happiness is unattainable - you do not love anyone, but no one loves you. This is a very terrible feeling. Comfort, which is able to secure a single person - nothing compared to the joy, which gives the deep communication with another person and the feeling that you best understand your second half, and she is best of all understands you.
Present happiness is achieved only when two live together. This is not just a hyperbole or a beautiful fantasy. The ideal can be achieved, an example of this is the lives of Saints Peter and Fevronia. Being divided, they continued to live a single destiny, and died in one day and an hour. The result of their life, in my opinion, the most instructive part of their lives.
Ierie Gleb Grovovsky:
What is family happiness? When you hear the word happiness, then a bright feeling of the joy of being, complicity, is born from the very word in the soul. Happiness is the harmony of spirit, soul and body. When the body obeys the soul, and the soul of the Spirit. No swan, cancer and pike, as in the Basna of Krylov, and when the mind, the feelings and movements of the flesh are subordinated. Look at what catastrophic consequences can lead the gestures, not subordinate to the spirit. The body saw a beautiful woman and went on calling the lowest needs for sinful things. And the mind says not in this family happiness ... And the body does not advise with anyone, it just wants, goes and does, it does not think about the consequences.
In Trinity leaflet, the spiritual meadow is such a story. Once the wife learned about the treason of her husband. She cried bitter tears and asked God to forgive her sin's husband. And when the husband got ready to work, his wife, not saying anything, with tears in his eyes blessed as usual. And when they said goodbye, the spouse could not withstand, fell on her knees and asked for forgiveness from his wife, yes so that he was no longer returned to her sin. It was the sincere repentance of her husband. And thanks to the long-suffering wife, the marriage was preserved, happiness and harmony returned in relationships.
Oh, it is important to subjugate the body of the Spirit in order to avoid the collapse of the family. Today in Russia more than 50 percent of divorces, each second prisoner of loving people falls apart. Is it love? And the reasons are here although different, but the meaning is the same. Thoughts are pulling in one place, feelings in another, and the body to side. Today, every day in Russia, the verdict of intrauterine children, who do not give the slightest chance to be born. And such defenseless kids are killed more than 10 thousand every day! Is it possible to build happiness on child blood? Nevertheless, among those who call themselves the Orthodox there are people who continue to live with an unskilled heart that continue to commit sin. And how many women have to endure from husbands, subordinate passion to alcohol, tobacco and a ragged lifestyle? Over how many families are committed to violence, beatings?
Today, quite a lot of families are experiencing a crisis state. But, everyone in the depths of the soul wants family happiness, this hierarchy, harmony of being. And in order to achieve this state, you need to tie the passion by good thoughts.
Suppose the family was formed, she was not full and abortion, and the husband is not a cloud book and not a drunkard, but there is no happiness - is there a chance to fix something else? On this occasion, one story is remembered.
A married couple lived in one city. They lived for a long time, but they always felt that something was lacking in relations. What they just did not try and, having lived 20 years, broke up. They broke up to connect to the Union no longer crumbling. It turned out that they were built their lives without a foundation, although they were baptized in childhood, but did not harvest. Update in extremely unhappy state, both of them went to put a candle in their temple. They met people who invited them to public conversations. After the course of catechization, they met to hang and never part.
Of course, if these spouses from childhood would be squeezed, they would not need to break the porcelain hearts to collect them later by fragments. It is also very important to explain the child in adolescence to explain the difference between love and love. And the best example here will be the story of Patriarch Kirill.
A young couple came to Lord to ask for a blessing for marriage, and he looked at them and asks a young man: "Do you love your bride?" He answered that she loved her very much. Then the Vladyka tells him: "You imagine, now you eat home, got a blessing from me to the wedding and suddenly the accident and your beloved becomes disabled for life. Are you ready to repeat your words then? " And no longer needed words, it was enough to see the reaction on the face of the young groom. This is how love is very different (sacrifice) from superficial in love. It is very important to convey to those who want to have family happiness.
And last. Without mutual love and loyalty, family happiness is impossible. I will give a bright example for me how to be happy: http: //azbyka.ru/grozovsky/n_biografia/zinaida_grzovsky.html
Happy holiday, dear Christians!
You read the article Family happiness - what it is and where to take it ? See also:
Mother Galina Sokolova. "How to create a happy family." Part 1. Familiar to the Will of God
Mother Galina Sokolova "How to Create a Happy Family." Part 2. Love need to feed
Each person understands that the main value in his life is a family. Therefore, great importance is given to the question: how to achieve happiness in family life? Of course, for each word "happiness" has a different meaning, but whatever it is, everyone would like to find it.
As the basis of any house is the foundation and the basis of a happy family is love. You can try to create a family based on friendship, passion, sympathy, but it will not withstand the "check" by life. Love is the gift of God. Without love, happiness in family life will not be, no matter how cool. The meaning of the family is to create an atmosphere of joy, care, adoption and happiness. Both spouses are responsible for this.
Love is a very important aspect in the family, but for the happy family life of one is not enough. In order for the union to be coordinated and harmonious, you need to learn to understand each other. After all, another person has the right to be different from you, have other views and opinions. In difficult situations, it is very important to try to compromise, and not defend your point of view. During conflicts, remember that your partner is your ally, not an enemy.
To build a strong family relationship without this quality is impossible, because wisdom is a pledge of happiness in the family. In order to master this quality, you need to learn to give up. And who will have to do this depends on the specific situation and the characters of the spouses.
Of course, this does not mean that the opinion of another partner will be ignored. It is necessary to take into account the interests of both. Here another step appears on the way to family idyll - respect. Spouses should carefully treat each other's feelings, as well as avoid rudeness in communication.
An important component of a happy marriage is attention to its partner. It strengthens relationships and makes spouses closest one to each other. Even the smallest surprise on a cloudy day can raise the mood of the second half. As a rule, such surprises are valued above the expected gifts for the holidays.
An important stage on the way to a happy marriage is the ability to forgive, ask for forgiveness. Remember that all people are mistaken. Try not to slow with reconciliations: if someone from the spouses apologized without a feeling of guilt, then in other times it will make another partner under any circumstances.
Also try to develop the level of confidence in the family. Doubt in the partner will quickly violate equilibrium in the relationship, but it is not so easy to return it. Trust also implies sincerity. Do not forget that all the secret becomes clear, and sometimes a little lie looks like a great betrayal.
Perhaps it is a little contrary to the concept of a family where everything is one, but it should be remembered that none of the partners should feel as if "cage". You are two personalities who decided to go through life together. And every person has its own hobbies, hobbies, friends. Of course, it is necessary to give this time without prejudice to the family.
For its history, the family is experiencing many different situations in which it is important to maintain composure and exercise its excerpt. Patience can save even in the most difficult situation when steam on the verge of rupture. Here the main thing is to remember that all difficulties are temporary, that everything will be improved and the atmosphere of comfort and understanding is reborn in the family. Why? Yes, because the family has a solid foundation - love. Remember?
What Happiness? Happiness - The concept of multifaceted. Each person understands happiness in his own way. In general, we can say about happiness that this is a barely intimate inner feeling of the joy of being. This is a condition that a person is experiencing during the greatest domestic satisfaction with his life.
The family is an important part of the life of any person and its meaning cannot be overestimated. It is in the family that there is hope to get spiritual heat, love, acceptance, care, understanding, calm, feel the completeness of life and gain happiness. But, unfortunately, not all people have to build a strong reliable family, where the basis is love and harmonious relations between its members.
Let's talk more about happiness in the family.
What kind of family can be considered Happy ?
A happy family - This is harmony чnaya, a prosperous family, the foundation of which is love . It is important to understand that happiness in family life is not always accompanied by the feeling of euphoria and bliss, in each family there are ups and downs (crises). At the same time, happy families are strong families who can successfully cope with any life difficulties and obstacles.
Happy families are built on sincerity and honesty, in their relationship is cheerfulness. Each member of the family feels that he is understood, they love, appreciate that it is significant and in difficult times will not be left alone, the close people will support him and be sure to serve the hand of help. In such families there is no place of cruelty and violence.
In happy relationship there is Balance between attachment to each other and the desire to separate, to self-realization. It's about Opportunities to be yourself - With its feelings, desires, values, with their rhythm and the tempo of life, actions and activity, with crises and changes that each person have, with lifts and downsion. This is the place where not only children grow and develop, but also spouses.
Happy family is to IWA I + me + me = we . Everyone Я- This is by no means not half, but a holistic personality That, above all, appreciates and respects itself, has a high self-esteem, feels his creative potential, competence, health, strength, can give love and experience happiness. This allows you to make a great contribution to the development of family relationships. For myself, I noted the main points of such a contribution:
Love. Love for everyone means differently, but in general, definitely, these are the emotions of joy, bliss, harmony and pacification. Love can manifest in warm and gentle words to each other, in hugs, kisses, desire to take care and make a pleasant. The disclosure of love helps a sense of gratitude to the world for having met, the ability to sincerely appreciate your relationship, enjoy your feelings, rejoice in them.
Based on the mutual love of the spouses, parental love is born, retalious love of children to parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters. Joy and grief in such a family become common: all the events of family life are united, strengthen and deepen the feeling of mutual love.
Confidence - This is when family members have the opportunity to frankly talk about what worries them (successes, failures), without fear of criticism and negative perception, without falling off and without moving from contact, can express any feelings and emotions to an acceptable way, because We are sure that they will be understood and will take.
A responsibility - Willingness to take care of a partner, readiness for dedication, refusal to manipulate a partner, children. It is important to agree on the distribution of responsibility, taking into account the interests of all family members.
Respect. A person who respects himself will respect himself and to others. Respect each other - it means to take into account the feelings, thoughts, needs and preferences of others when communicating and making decisions.
Care - manifestation of the ability " give away "Without waiting for any benefit and do not expect anything in return. This is when all family members take a caring disinterested participation in creating family well-being.
Spiritual health - Deep spiritual ties between spouses, children and parents. This is a family lifestyle, based more on compatibility (joint work and entertainment, sincere conversations) than individually interest. This is the formation of a common family worldview, spiritual and cultural values and the transfer of them to their children. Thus, the family is born a feeling of living continuity of generations, the feeling of involvement in the history of a kind, past, present and future.
However, happy relationships do not guarantee easy and carefree living together. Happiness - the concept is still not eternal and can disappear from the relationship at any time, so it is so important to maintain a warm family atmosphere, to make a personal contribution and work on relationships.
And in a happy family, everything happens: discontent, inconsideration, disagreements, conflicts. Each family member has their own interests and they inevitably face and cause contradictions - such is the real life of any family. It is important how family members are coping with them, what kind of response method they choose. Many choose to be offended, angry, fall into fury ... But this is not the most reasonable and effective way to solve problems. A more constructive option that will help to overcome the adversity - try to hear another person, put yourself in his place, ask yourself a question: did he really be offended by me? It is very important to openly and to talk about what is unpleasant in a particular situation, and not To be taken offense and anger, without sobering and not bone to the partner, what exactly hurt in conflict.
In a situation where the emotions of the offense and anger borrowed, it is more useful to ask yourself a question: what is more important to me - to be right or happy?
It helps to realize the value of the relationship, because, indeed, it is much more important to maintain a strong union than to prove that you were right in some judgments. It is always necessary to remember and understand that absolutely every person has its drawbacks, and it is important to take them, otherwise reproaches in nonideality, constant accusations and criticism will simply spoil family life.
The key to a happy family is a careful and careful attitude towards close people even in conflicts, this lack of desire to hit the "patient" place to humiliate, devalue.
Another secret of warm relationships is that the spouses do not impose unrealized overwhelmed requirements for the partner and children, so they are not disappointed in each other. It gives less reasons for irritation, because the partner accepts the other what it is. And if someone from the spouses is offended, he does not store and does not save negative emotions in his heart. The happy family can ask for forgiveness and forgive. That is why in such families, despite quarrels and conflicts, and adults, and children remain for each other with the most close and most beloved people in the world.
Spouses have enough time to pay attention to children. Children feel love, heat, family stability. Parents constantly agree, children do not hear how parents blame each other, the threat of parting and divorce does not vit them. As a result, children grow up healthy and harmonious personalities. It can be said that a personal example of parents is one of the strongest means of educational impact on the child.
It would be nice to remember such a formula: Happy parents = Happy kids!
All of the above, of course, seems perfect and unattainable in real life. So, still a happy family is a myth or reality?
This is reality. Yes, happy families in modern society are not such a frequent phenomenon. But, nevertheless, they exist. I am familiar personally with five families. Four families are the families of my girlfriends, which I know about 30 years old. These are really happy families who had to go through a lot to overcome the tests, serious diseases, crisis. The pledge of their long-term happy relationships, as they tell, there was love based on attention, trust, tenderness, which over the years, is becoming brighter and multicolored. Children grew, separated, got married, but life was not alive for these couples with a catastrophe. They became even closer, relative, began to appreciate each other and the time spent together. Their life was even more filled with tenderness and gratitude to each other.
And I was lucky to visit the anniversary of the "Golden Wedding" from the familiar family. I was delighted with what thrill and tenderness they treated each other, deep love and devotion read in their eyes. After a while she got sick. He treated her and cared for her. About a year later, it did not.
In addition, I am admired by the famous couple, connecting the family and creative union. The two names are always together - the poet Zinaida Aleksandrovna Mirkina Iphiloof Grigory Solomonovich Pomerances, who sincerely and deeply loved each other. They lived together for more than half a century, passed through limiting tests, learned to be happy.
I really liked the phrase G.S. Oranges that happiness is not a wallet on the road. It opens from the inside. So that it opens, a person needs to survive all the past, all the failures in which his soul took part.
From the pure heart, congratulations to all with the day of family, love and loyalty! I wish you all joy and happiness!
Sincerely, your psychologist Olga Romanenkova.
Did you think about what is the happiness of the family? What moments create the unity of several people, Make the Union harmonious ?
The family in the process of evolution was not for nothing. This is a community of people who have their own traditions, remembering the ancestors, respecting their kind, seeking to adequately raise a new generation.
The real family is strong and friendly, all its members feel a close relationship among themselves.
How to live with mother-in-law in the same apartment? Find out about this from our article.
What does it mean?
A happy family can be seen immediately: between her members is present Harmony, mutual understanding .
If you pay attention to the photos, you will see smiling faces, people stand closely towards each other, there is an attraction between them, looks, gestures are directed at loved ones.
Children in such families know that they love them and respected. Free time and relaxing happy family She strives to spend together.
They are good next to them, small conflicts do not develop into large, and are incentive to change . If there is a quarrel, it quickly ends, because a happy family does not see the meaning in finding out the relationship, she is looking for a way to solve the problem better and faster.
Finding out whether happiness really reigns in the family, it must be borne in mind that the family can be happy outwardly and internally.
Externally - This is the expression of your feelings, relations in humans. And it does not always coincide with the inner. You can see smiling faces, but if you look carefully, you will realize that in fact people are far from each other and simply depict happiness.
Domestic The happiness of the family is the present, when there is no need to demonstrate its attitude, harmony always reigns.
The combination of external and internal manifestations is full of full happiness. It is such a family that is truly harmonious - she does not need to pretend - joy, fun, love is natural and not disappear under the action of circumstances or foreign people.
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About how to withstand psychological violence in the family, read here.
What is it family happiness: psychology
What is family happiness?
Family happiness Curly connected with emotions who family members are experiencing to each other.
Entering into marriage, people hope that happiness will come to them, they will live together to old age, call children.
However, pink glasses will quickly fall, family life comes, financial problems, people begin to see the shortcomings of a partner. The first crisis of family life comes, then the following, and not every family calmly passes through them.
Many couples are bred, others live in war years, without knowing how to find a common language, but not wanting to part in order to create a new, more prosperous union. Eventually not only spouses suffer, but also their children .
If you are glad to come home, meet your half, you are good together, it means you can call yourself a happy couple. For content ↑
Let's wonder what qualities a happy family has.
- The presence of family traditions . When people live together, they have common points of contact, habits. Tradition can be family dinners on weekends, trips to relatives for the holiday, rest in the country or something else significant.
- Desire to share life experience. The older generation conveys his knowledge of the younger, and the children and grandchildren will readily take them.
- Communication with the eldest generation , proximity to them. Grandparents are respected by grandparents in a happy family, they are part of the kind.
- Ability to be grateful . This is not only the ability to speak thanks, but also the inner state of the person.
- Joint classes with children . If parents pay at their own time, this not only positively affects its emotional and intellectual development, but also brings closer, develops confidence.
- Ability to have fun , enjoy life.
- Self-sufficiency Each family member.
- Saving status , family hierarchy, comfortable for each family member.
A happy family will not find out the attitude in humans, criticize the partner, complain about children or the older generation.
They are act at the same time , together and this is what it is even more united. There are no strong differences in it, because the goals are directed in one direction, and there is such a family as a single organism. For content.
Harmony - concept and manifestation
Harmony - This is a balance of balance, equilibrium.
In a harmonious family, there is almost no quarrel, and if controversial situations arise, they are solved as efficiently as possible and beneficial for all its members.
In a harmonious family Feels calm, integrity, There are positive emotions, and if someone is upset, sick, then close people support, help get out of the emotional negative or complex life situation.
In the family where the balance is present, the morning begins positively, in the evening people hurry home, because they are waiting for their relatives that need attention and care.
The basis of harmony is calm and confidence that you need that loved ones will always support you, will give a smile, help improve your mood.
In such families, the quarrel is unacceptable - they violate the created balance, bring negative into existence. Harmonious families avoid conflicts as a factor, threatening calm and integrity . for content ↑
Are there ideal unions?
It seems that a happy family is Some unattainable ideal .
You, your friends periodically conflict with loved ones, someone has financial difficulties, someone is sick in other families.
And the question arises - is there really absolutely happy families? Yes, they are. In many respects, it depends on the people themselves married, from their readiness to work on relationships , save them.
Probably there is no concept of absolute happiness, and it is not achievable. But everyone is capable of creating a good, friendly family. However, this is a lot of work, and above all over yourself.
You can not, Do not have the right to make the other But you can work on your attitude to close people. And by changing your attitude, ways of impact, communication, you will begin to notice that the family members began to behave differently.
The concept of happiness has its own, so you cannot withdraw a single formula, the recipe, following which you and your relatives will certainly be satisfied with the joint life.
But if you try to bring harmony and joy into the world, you will certainly be achieved. Happy families are, and make them the people who are ready to fight for their happiness and build it. CONTANT ↑
In glossy magazines, transfers are often talking about pairs, whose love could be put in an example .
It should be understood that every family is individual. Methods for creating happiness for individual people are distinguished.
One of the best examples - elderly which lived for many years together, retained love and loyalty. They have happy children and grandchildren who come to them on holidays, but do not forget on ordinary days. Such a family can say that "we are together in spite of everything."
Happy couples can be found among celebrities. One of them - Monica Bellucci and Vensean Kassel . They together for 15 years, there are two wonderful children.
Another famous couple - Jada Pinkett-Smith and Will Smith "One of the strongest couples in Hollywood, they have two children, married for 14 years, Will does everything to feel his beloved.
Goldi Houne and Kurt Russell Together about 30 years. Goldie says the most valuable thing for her is that she feels loved.
Svetlana and Fyodor Bondarchuk together for 20 years. After so much, their feelings did not fade, and they are not shyless to demonstrate them in humans.
Angelica Varum and Leonid Agutin. Amazing couple whose love is noticeable from the side. Despite the bright and temperamental characters, they love and appreciate each other, and the preservation of families for them is important. For content ↑
What do you need for this?
What makes the family happy?
Having an idea of what a good family is, the question arises: what should I do to be happy?
- The desire of two people to develop relationships , Save them, as much as possible to get out of crisis situations as possible.
- Children - One of the reasons for happiness. Of course, and without them you can be satisfied with life, but many couples disintegrate due to the fact that one of the partners does not want or cannot have a child.
- Desire for one goal . If a woman wants children, and the man is more prone to travel and entertainment, then conflicts will arise sooner or later.
- Sexy compatibility. Intimate life is one of the important life. The incompatibility of partners often becomes a reason for betraying, displeasure to each other.
Ideally, the need for sex should be approximately the same or one of the partners is compromised.
- Do not pay attention to small problems , they are not worth it. Quarrels due to nonsense destroy harmony, slowly pushing the stone of happiness.
- Spend time not only together But let everyone of the family members have their own hobby, the opportunity to relax alone. Personal space is necessary to every person.
- Do not hold back emotions , do not accumulate them inside especially negative. If you are sad, feel anger, talk to your loved ones, tell me what bothers you. If you feel joy, happiness, love, thanks to sharing these emotions as often as possible.
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How to diversify family life? Discover the answer right now.
Pledge and welfare rules
Observing the following Simple secrets You will become closer to the feeling of family happiness and harmony.
- Love your spouse;
- respect its values, freedom, desire for a partner and children;
- be able to make compromises for the sake of preserving happiness and balance;
- Welfare, finance - one of the whales on which family life holds. Domestic problems affect the feeling of happiness;
- Have a common interest. Naturally, spouses can have their own hobbies, but there must be what they are united;
- have uniform goals;
- equally looking at the education of children;
- in the event of problem situations, dialogue;
- Trust between group members is one of the important points;
- Be able to be sincere and tell the truth. Fallen early or later comes out.
How to be a happy wife?
To make a woman to become happy in family life, first of all Choose the right man.
Over your happiness you have to work. Relationships do not develop by themselves.
If you are married, you take responsibility for maintaining harmony in relationships. Shoot the responsibility for their actions on others is unacceptable.
Support for loved ones in a difficult moment - one of the collateral of family happiness. For content ↑
Recipes of family happiness
How to become a happy family?
There are no uniform recipes, but still exist general principles Checked for many unions.
- Respect each other. If there are no respect, the family will break the family sooner or later, it is simply nothing to hold on - two people will live nearby, which are completely not taking into account the interests of others.
- Create family traditions and stick to them.
- Hold a joint holiday. Traveling, weekends outside the city create leisure, unite, allow you to more closely communicate and understand the partner and their children.
- Maintain a spouse in a difficult moment. When a person is hard, at work problems or unhealthy, he needs sympathy and advice of loved ones. Indifference, the inability to provide support is removed.
- Learn to respect children. The child, even a small, person, he needs self-expression, some share of freedom in actions and thoughts.
- Relief to the eldest in children.
- Touch each other. Tactile sensations help experience intimacy, and touch can express more than words.
Remember that in order for the family to become happy, all its members should strive for this.
Work on the relationship , do not let me leak into your union negative, interfere with strangers, and then harmony will accompany you throughout the whole life.
7 rules to make your family life happy, from Dale Carnegie:
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